It's just so different

So Mel and I have been hospital hopping for the last few days. On Monday we went to the "nicer" public hospital with the youth group to take food and presents to the kiddos there. It was so hard to see how these hospitals work. We walked in to the pedia ward and there was at least 12 beds in that small room. Then there were two other rooms joined to it and each of those had about 4 more beds. There was no air conditioning, no oxygen and suction connected to the walls, no clean sheets, and not even nice beds. It's just...not ok. There's really no point in going to the hospital here if you have to go to the public hospital. You honestly just get sicker. We asked around and figured out why some of the kids were in there. One little girl had kidney failure. Now this means that, if she is indeed going to receive a new kidney soon, then she's on immunosuppressants so that she doesn't reject the donor kidney. And in the bed next to her? A boy with pneumonia. Great. I just can't believe that this is how the hospital is. But the problem with all of this is that this wasn't near as bad as the other hospital we went to. I'll post pictures soon but today we went to visit the other public hospital to visit 2 moms who delivered there recently. We walked into the OB Ward and Mel and I honestly stopped for a second and looked at each other like "what the heck?" There were AT LEAST 3 moms/babies to a bed and the place was packed. Where there was maybe 30 beds there were around 90 babies. One baby started crying and it triggered about 5 other ones. It's so hard to see this reality. It makes me so mad! And on top of all of this there were only 3 nurses at the nursing station there. So, 30 patients per nurse. We saw research that having more than 7 patients per nurse is risky enough for medical mistakes! Wow. Just wow. We're really happy that the clinic uses the private hospitals. Three patients per room, one per bed. It's an amazing difference.

More differences--- today we went on the house visits with MayMay to visit more moms who gave birth at the clinic. This was to see if the patients enjoyed their experience, had any suggestions, would deliver there again etc. Melissa got to ride her first trike! It was awesome. It was just so interesting to see how these people live. I mean obviously we're reaching out to those in need, those who don't have the money to pay for a good hospital to deliver their baby. The houses we saw today were probly the size of my bathroom back at home. Two had a mom, dad, and 2 babies living it; another had a mom, dad, 3 kids, and a baby. It's just so crazy to see this whole different world than mine. And...they were happy. The moms were so happy to have us come see them. They were so happy to have their baby in their arms. It's just...so different.

A couple of observations so far:

1. Medical students have to wear ALL white. But black underwear are perfectly acceptable.

2. Making a U turn from the far right lane? Sure, why not.

3. Those while and yellow lines on streets to help control traffic? That's exactly what they are- just lines. Maybe considered guidelines, but possibly not even that.

4. Bananas are not the same.

5. McDonald's delivers.

6. Power outages can be followed on Twitter.

7. You're more likely to see a DVD before it even comes out in theaters.

8. The pirated video store will text you when they get more stock in.

9. If you're 12 and your dad tells you to go buy him some alcohol you're totally allowed.

10. Privacy doesn't really exist.

11. If you can find a place with AirCon stay there all day.

12. Highlights, hair cut, manicure, pedicure, permanent straightening, and possible massage- it all comes in a package for about 40 bucks.

13. Pedestrians do NOT have the right-a-way.

14. No worries- everybody has a facebook and they all love Twilight. It's like being back at home.

More to come as I notice them! :D Love you guys! Keep up the prayers!

These Hands

There's a ton of songs about giving different body parts to God. Not in a weird way. But I mean all those songs about "give me your eyes", "if we are the body, why aren't your hands reaching?", "take my lips and let them be filled with messages from thee..." I feel like my song to God has always been about my hands. "Jesus use my hands!" When I was a little bit younger (say 16 maybe) I was prayed for by Marisela. And it was this huge praying for your spiritual gifts thing and the thing that I remember the most is that my hands got so flipping hot. Even she said that when she touched my hands they were like on fire. So, obviously, I have always prayed about God using my hands. For a while I thought it was the gift of healing- and really I still totally believe that- but last night He gave me another interpretation. We were in church and I was praying about just giving Him my all and I instinctively lifted my hands. Once again they got pretty hot (Like Holy Spirit holding my hands hot) and I started asking God what He wants to do with my hands. "Jesus! Let them move for you. Let them touch and heal! Let them reach out to your people!" And then I heard Him say "Let them catch my children." Needless to say, I got this huge goofy grin on my face and was almost laughing in the middle of prayer. "Yes, Jesus. Let them catch your babies. Always."

I love how Jesus gives us our dreams. He confirms them in our prayers, in our readings, and in our friendships. Jesus has paved the way for this to be my future. Anna started the spark by telling me about how awesome birth is. I still had my reservations because I'm not too good with smells- I have a very intact gag reflex. (haha) But the seed was always there. Anna loves her job so much- and I love Anna so much and look up to her more than you would believe. So obviously this job had to be amazing, right? So I started nursing school. I figured if I didn't end up liking the birthing process then I would for sure find something else I would like. Then I wanted to come to Cebu. I mean, spending an entire summer with birthing moms? It would definitely tell me yes or no! And it all just fell into place. Jesus paved the way. And I knew. I just knew that this was it. And then He just went one step further. He's given me everything I ever wanted. I get to use my hands for His purpose. I get to bring His kiddos into this world and be the first to say a silent prayer over them. I get to be the one who holds them in their first few minutes. There's really nothing like it. I couldn't be more satisfied with what my life is going toward. I asked Him to show me His love and give me His heart. I asked Him for 4 years to use my hands. I asked Him to give me a life that could be found faithful. He gave me everything I asked for. (I'm still asking for the guy to go through life with me but ya know, sometimes you have to be patient. ;D )

All this to say, Jesus is faithful. He wants to give us what we ask for. He wants to make us more than satisfied in Him and in His plan for our lives. He loves us. He wants to show us His heart because it's beautiful. He wants to give us His plans because they're perfect. Man, this God we serve loves us so much. How insanely lucky are we?!

Baby Catcher

Oh how I love this job. There is no doubt whatsoever that this is my career choice. Yesterday morning (early morning. Midnight to be exact) I got to catch my first baby pretty much on my own. It was a night of fun activities. I got to do an IE on her earlier and feel the baby's head, start the IV on her (she had good veins), catch the baby, cut the cord, deliver the placenta (still the weirdest thing I'll ever see), help mommy breastfeed, and help with the newborn exam (though I'll be honest. Me helping with the newborn exam was more like me playing with the little girl. I was like- let's check your muscles, and then proceeded to play patty cake with her. :D ). I don't think I'll ever forget that rush of adrenaline and joy. It is honestly the coolest thing in the world to bring a new life into it. :D

Let's see- other updates. Mel and I went to youth group last night. That was a fun experience. We were the only white people and as far as we could tell we were the oldest too. But the youth group was really fun! You can tell that their heart is sold out for God and that's honestly all that matters. The church that David and Hilary go to is awesome. And honestly, that's saying something coming from me. I'm a little picky when it comes to churches (hey- my dad's a pastor and I LOVE my church). But this church just felt like home. I really, really like it. :D And we might be going on an outreach with the youth on Monday. They're taking lunches (I think) to the kids ward of the public hospital. So it will be cool to be able to minister along side them and see what the hospital conditions are like here. Please keep this outreach in your prayers!

Other than that there's not too much to report. The Bible study that we're leading is going good. The girls are a little shy but we're getting to know them a little more and we're all getting more comfortable with each other. It's been really fun being able to center this trip on Jesus. It's not all about the nursing part and that's exactly how we wanted it.

Thank you all so so so much for sending me here. This is already life changing and I'm so happy I got to come! I love you all and will check in again soon! :D

Molly Walker, 1015, Overton HQ

So so much...

Ok. Where to start. Chronological order or what's on my mind right now? Let's go with my mind and see if I can connect all the dots. This week I've been working the night shifts with the "Yellow Team." I can definitely see myself being a night nurse if I can ever figure out the whole sleep during the day thing. There hasn't been too much action during the nights. We got to help a mom breast feed here baby and just kind of teach her how to take care of him. (Which, while we're here- please keep that situation in your prayers. There's a TON of drama surrounding that pregnancy and it all pretty much ends with the mom not really caring about the baby but the grandparents wanting her to keep it. It's a hard situation to have to teach a mom how to breast feed when her baby is already a week old and clearly not being fed enough. :( ) Then there was the labor on Monday morning that Mel and I got to attend. Yay for little baby girls and moms who are champs at labor. :D Then last night (Tuesday night) was also pretty slow. Though, again, we had a mom come in to the clinic around 5 this morning and she was dilated 4 cm. This was her 4th baby and we could tell that she was going to progress quickly. (Her contractions were already 3 min apart and VERY strong.) So we hooked her up to the CTG, watched the baby's heart rate, and got her ready for the delivery. At about 8:50 (this is all very similar to the birth on Monday morning) she was examined and it was determined that she was 7 cm. I was offered the chance to help catch the baby and was practically bouncing with the excitement. Then we see the mom roll over (she was laying on her left side) and start to push. All I hear is "GET YOUR GLOVES ON!" and the mom's grunts. So I quickly put on my sterile gloves and sneak a peek at what's going on. Well, the head is out- that's what's going on. So I stick my hand around the head and wait for the next push. The other midwife had the head secure so I caught onto the baby's shoulders and caught his cute little body as he made his way out of the birth canal. I just want to say that babies are so so so cute when they're born. They kind of open their eyes and have this expressing like "Huh. That was weird. And it's bright. And I'm cold. Why?" It's probly the cutest face ever. :D So we warmed up the baby and go him next to his mommy to get his first meal. He's a very handsome, 8 pound, beautiful and healthy little boy. And I got to help catch him. So this pretty much beats all the other days for "Best Day Award" so far. :D

While we're on this subject of little baby boy- let's get into the subject of naming your children. So I've had names for my children since I was about 12 and learned that picking names is so fun. I love the names Madeline Marie and Jacob Ryan (though with the whole Twilight craze and Jacob in it, I may have to change that name. Rats.) These, in my opinion, are relatively common, acceptable names for children. In America, we don't often get too odd of names. There are a few, no doubt, but John is much more common than something like Ocean (Just an example). And, for all those who don't know this- it's actually ILLEGAL in Germany to name your child a weird name. You have to have some sort of proof that a name has been in your family for a while if you're going to name your child a "odd" name. Now, in the Philippines it's a free for all. The main thing we've seen is that the couple does an odd combination of their names to create a name for their child. For example, my parent's names are Sharon and Larry. Now when I was born they named me Molly. But if we lived here, and they were part of this culture, they may have named me Sharry. You see? But you also have the other names that creep up every now and then here. Hilary was telling me about a mom who named her kids after the royal family. Not just Charles but PRINCE CHARLES. On the birth certificate this kid's name was Prince Charles. (They also have a Princess Diana) This all bring me to the main point. The baby I delivered this morning was named Lord Benedict. Yup. You read that right. Hehe. Just though I'd let you in on this little tid bit that made my day. :D

Ok...so on to the more serious stuff. I guess we'll just jump right into it. Last night before working at the clinic we went to the Red Light district with a man named Father Hines. This man is...amazing. He was raised in Germany and came to Cebu 29 years ago and has been working here ever since. Everyday he goes into this district (as well as the dump sites) and hands out medicine, condoms, etc. Now let's back up a little bit. When we went to the Red Light we had to pass through a blockade of guards. These guards are there for pretty much one reason: to keep anyone who is going to help get these girls out of this situation OUT of the district. The girls are valuable to them and help will not be tolerated. So needless to say Father Hines had a difficult task in front of him 29 years ago. He finally got in when he proved he was a friend. His theory is that by continued kindness and relationship we can win more to Christ than through blunt force. So when one of the pimps got hit by a car and ended up in the hospital with tons of medical bills- the others went to Father Hines. He ended up covering the medical bills and from then on was let into the community. From there he could distribute free condoms, snacks, lead women to the Welcome House that can help them recover, and hand out much needed medications.

Now let's do an overview on the Red Light district. This is the prostitute area. Mainly brothels. It's also the "dump site" for unwanted children. We walked in and just saw masses of kids running around, most without parents. They said that when parents don't want their kids they often just drop them off at the Red Light district. This obviously adds to the continuing business of prostitution since most of these young girls will end up being the prostitutes in a few years. This whole business is based on lies and threats. Some girls are lured in thought promises of legitimate jobs. They are then hooked on drugs and prostituted. They are so ashamed of what happened that they don't go home to tell their parents the truth. Other girls are brought in by fellow prostitutes who are payed a sum of money for each girl they bring in. Others, the younger ones, are paid big bucks to come into the business and then kept there through drugs or some other way of slavery. It was stated at one point that when cops come and arrest the girls, the pimps bail them out and then use that debt to keep them where they are. If they run, they are followed. If they are found, they are killed. It takes about 6-7 customers a night to stay alive. These girls honestly have nowhere to run and it really sucks. This is their reality- and mine is a 2 month trip away from my cozy country home and full ride to college. What a reality check this has been.

So back to Father Hines. He is so so so well known in the community now. They have successfully saved a few girls but nothing compared to the numbers that exist. Even now they don't know how many there really is because everything is done through texting instead of brothels. (As is, I'm sending my cab, be ready.) But the second that Father Hines walks in that place all the girls come up, hug him, and have huge smiles. He's the one man who has ever truly cared about them. He is in a sense the father they never had. He truly is doing an amazing thing. So we got to go with him into the site and help him hand out the usual condoms, meds, and biscuits. All the kids immediately wanted to check out the new white girls and came crowding around Mel and I asking our names and ages. We gave them all stickers and they stayed with us the whole night. Never once did I not have some kid holding my hand, talking with me, and walking through the streets with me. It was heartbreaking to be honest. I didn't know how to do it but all I wanted was to be their mom. I wanted to hold them like my mom holds me and tell them how special they are. I can't get the image of those kid's faces out of my mind. I don't really know how to process the lack of futures they have. It's...too much for me. Only God can handle these things... I just wish I could do more.

Reality hits hard when you meet a girl who tells you it's her first night out and asks for condoms. This girl looks like she's going to the mall with her friends in her striped dress and heals. Then you learn that she is 14. She shouldn't be doing this! She shouldn't even know how this works yet! How is this ok?! Then you get it- she was probly raised here. Now she's old enough to earn her keep. Or that's probly what they tell her. How is this happening when I live in my comfortable world of nursing school and Starbucks? I don't know how two totally different realities can exist. But that's just the thing. It's her reality. She didn't look too scared like I would have looked. She wasn't sweating or crying the way I wanted to scream out loud and protest the danger she was putting herself in. She looked resigned. This was life. This was her life. I'm not ok with her life. I want to help save those who have to have her life. How, Jesus, can I do this? How can I get your children back to you? If my heart breaks how much more does Yours? If I want to scream is that what your thunders really are? Is this what sin has brought us to? Who knew the stupid apple would lead to this. I want to change it. I want to change the world. Can I? Can one person be enough? Maybe. Not one alone. One with Jesus? Definitely. How do we start this new revolution? How do we turn the hearts of children toward the father? How do we penetrate the darkness with light so bright that nothing can stand in the way of it? How do we take this word to the nations without fear of failure holding us back? I'm still figuring it out. This much I know. We are His generation. We can fight. I'm not sitting down anymore. It's not worth it. I will fight this injustice somehow. I'll let you know how when I figure it out. Jesus help me...

Molly Walker, 0038, Overton HQ.

Babies Galore

I love babies! :D We had another little baby girl enter the world this morning. She is so so beautiful! The labor was so fast. I worked the night shift last night with little action. We helped a mom learn how to breast feed and that was pretty much it until 6 this morning. Then we had a mom come in who was 5 cm dilated. It was her 4th baby I think and she had a history of pretty fast labors. So we got her into the delivery room and just waited. She labored like a champ until about 8:45. Then we called in the dad and started to get serious. We did an IE and found out that she was now 9 cm. The midwife in charge decided to break her water to get that last cm dilated and the water bag was coming out. When she was about to break it, the mom gave a big push and we realized that the baby was pretty much IN the water bag. In all of 5 seconds the baby was literally shooting out into this world. Everyone went from "she's nine cm" to "BABY OUT!" We suctioned, dried, patted, and warmed the little baby girl while the other team worked on the mom. Then we brought baby girl to meet her mommy and daddy for the first time. The little champ went right to her main goal in this beginning of life- eating. She knew exactly what to do and went right to it. She's such a perfect little baby girl. :D

We are so excited that this summer is starting to pick up with more babies for us to bring into this world! These are the pros of this field that we're totally loving. The cons did catch up to us though. Little baby Kyle (The baby on the ventilator and chest tubes) passed away. Our prayers are definitely with the family of this sweet angel. And thank you guys for joining us in these prayers. We also have one more prayer request. The mom who gave birth to this baby had to have a c-section and the baby required a ton of medical attention. All that to say, the hospital bill came out to 130,000 pesos (roughly translated a little over $3000). The clinic can help as much as they can but this was definitely out of their budget but the family most definitely can't afford it either. So if you keep this financial situation in your prayers and even give if you can, that would be great. You can donate at the glory reborn website anytime, just designate to this cause. Thank you all so much! Love you all!

Molly Walker, 2029, Overton HQ

Lots of stuff...

So the past few days have been pretty hard for our mommies. On Thursday I think we had a mom who had to be transfered to the hospital because of insufficient pushing. Her baby boy is just fine though! She delivered about 3 hours later. It was a very long labor process that included pushing for about 7 hours. Then we had a stillbirth with another mom. This was a very sad one. She was about 7 months along. When she gave birth they found out that the baby's cord was wrapped very tightly around her ankle which cut off all the blood supply. Please keep this mommy in your prayers. And then we had another mom who was transferred to the hospital because the baby had some variable decelerations. The doctor at the hospital did an emergency CS and found that the baby had a congenital lung abnormality and put the baby on a ventilator. They also ended up having to put in 2 chest tubes because of fluid in the lungs. It's not looking very promising for this baby and the mom is obviously having a hard time. Please, please keep these moms and babies in your prayers! It's so hard when things don't go right and Jesus is the only comforter in times like these.

We've definitely learned a lot in the past few days. We've seen both the ups and downs of this field. I think we're both coming to the point of accepting that not every birth is perfect and happy but that Jesus has a plan for all of them. We're definitely ready to see more of the up side soon though. We have a few moms that are close to their due date and should be getting ready to deliver soon. :D I'll keep you posted on all the happenings of this week! Love you guys!

Molly Walker, 0845, Overton HQ.

Oh, Baby!

SOOOO.... I SAW MY FIRST BABY BORN!!!! YAY!!! Basically I decided when the head came out that this is most definitely what God has called me to do for the rest of my life. What a relief, right? haha.

We had our first birth for the summer yesterday around 3. Her name is Jezevie. She was so beautiful. Melissa and I were like anxious sisters waiting in the next room for the bang on the wall that said it was time. You should have seen us jump when we heard it. So we filed into the delivery room and took in the whole scene. Mommy was in pain, that was obvious. Hilary and the other midwives were suiting up, and one of them was motioning for us to come to the front and center seat. We walked over...well, more like hopped... and waited for the next contraction. All the sudden there was hair and Melissa goes "What's that?" I was like..."The head!!!!" HAHA. It was just a surprise for a baby to have that much hair! Then the head came out and we heard the first sound from the mom. On a side note- Philippinos are amazing at labor. They sit there all quietly and do their breathing. It's...strange. I wonder if we American's knew there wasn't an option for pain relief if we would take it like champs too. Anyways. The head came out and the midwife starts saying that the cord is tight. "Tight cord! Tight cord!" And then we got over the shock of what we just saw and realized that this baby was very, very blue. The next contraction was a mere 30 seconds later and the little girls body came out of the mommy. No cry, cord tied twice around her neck. The cord was quickly removed, the baby was being rubbed and suctioned, and then we finally heard that little miracle's voice- the first cry. Honestly I almost started crying. She was so perfect. A little confused. But perfect. And the mommy did wonderful. It was such an amazing thing to see.

So at this point Melissa and I have huge smiles on our faces because we were told that we could clamp and cut the cord. So Mel goes and stands by the baby, clamps the cord, and cuts it with a huge grin on her face. I, meanwhile, am standing by the mom just marveling at what just happened. Then I hear Hilary say "Molly, do you want to deliver the placenta?" Uhhhhhh.....sure? haha. That's all I could really manage. I mean, I didn't really know what I was doing. So I waited there with a midwife for the next contraction. When she had it, I got to gently tug on the cord and deliver the placenta. You know, placentas are weird. I'm not going to lie. Kind of gross. But needless to say, Jesus is amazing. The fact that this gross blob kept the little girl alive was a miracle in itself. And to all you pregos out there- the placenta was probably over 3 pounds- so don't blame yourself for those extra few. :)

Once the placenta was delivered (and I was pretty much making camp on cloud nine) I hear the next piece of news...She tore. :( So they pulled out the suture kit and started suturing her up. I'm watching this and wishing that I had ever learned to sew. Then the midwife asks me...well, more like tells me... "You want to suture." Kind of a question. But with the implication of "I'm about to hand this needle to you so get ready." So she tells me what I'm going to do and hands me the hemostat and the suture kit. It was so much fun being able to fix the tear. And apparently I have very steady hands (something I've never had before. I shook the whole time during my clinical clearance exam and that was just giving a shot. Another sign from God that this is the plan He has for me). It really was the best day of my life thus far. I'm so so so happy.

So this was the first birth. Melissa and I were talking about how we've done more in 2 days here than we'll do in our entire Mother-Baby semester at school. We're so so so thankful for this amazing experience that we get to have. And really, we want to thank all of you for making it happen. Everyone who's been praying for us and supporting us- we love you. You have, in a very real way, supported us on the journey that has decided the rest of our lives (Yup! Melissa wants to stay in this field too! ). God has already blessed this adventure so much and this is only day 3! We're so ready to see what else is coming and we will keep you posted on this beautiful journey. Oh yes! There are pictures to come as well! It takes forever and a day to upload them onto this sight so please go visit my facebook in about an hour. They will be there! If you can't find my facebook, try looking for it under my e-mail address which is posted as mollyw@nmsu.edu. Thank you all so much and I shall definitely keep you posted!

Molly Walker, 0730 (5:30 pm for you), Overton HQ